Life is complex and sometimes unstable for most, but dealing with mental and physical illnesses makes it even harder. Do you know what life is like for a World Trade Center Survivor? Hi, my name is Stevie A. Burke, and I am one of many World Trade Center survivors still struggling with mental and physical illnesses.

I have never gone into full details about September 11 and life after, so I've decided to blog about it. The night before September 11, I did my regular Monday night thing at Bar 13, reading poetry and snapping my fingers until it was time to head to work. Damn, I miss those nights of giving strangers an in-depth vision of my awkward creative thoughts. So neurotic and erotic on that beautiful late summer night, and by the time I stepped outside, the vibe had released me into a world where my vision was no longer blurred.

I showed up around 11:30 PM to work my 12 AM to 8 AM shift as the Security Supervisor for Instinet. Instinet was located on the 12th, 13th, and 14 floors of the North Tower of the World Trade Center. The night went by fast as per - let's face it, this was a cakewalk job for someone like me. The pay was fantastic, and I got to do a lot of studying for the web design course I was taking. At 7:30 AM, my coworker Eric showed up all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. At 7:45 AM, the secretary, Adriana, called to say that she would be running late for our weekly meeting. This phone call was significant because she, the office manager, Walter, and I would meet for about 5 minutes once a week. The discussions never went over, so I didn't mind waiting at all.

I sat in the office as Eric did his patrol, he started with the 14th, then the 13th, and finally down to the 12th floor. He must have been on the 12th floor for two minutes when the Big Bang happened.

The building started swaying like a wave pool at a waterpark. My first thought was that it's an earthquake. It felt like an earthquake, so I jumped out of my chair and stood up in the doorway. Soon after the rocking stopped, Eric came rushing out of the door across from the office, but he wasn't alone. It seemed like he brought the whole 12th floor with him. Everyone was panicking and frantic, giving me the what is happening face. I, at the time, had no idea what was going on. I picked up the phone to call the fire marshal, but there wasn't an answer. I then jumped to the next course of action, which was to evacuate all three floors. I told everyone to grab their stuff and start heading downstairs. I ordered Eric, who was still rightfully shell shocked, to clear the 14th and 13th floors. After I double-checked the 12th, I tried calling the Fire Marshal back but still had no luck. When Eric got back to the 12th floor, most Instinet workers started coming back upstairs, stating that the Fire Marshal said it was just a fire on the upper floors. I thought we were all in the clear for a second, so I decided to call my mother to let her know what was happening. Good thing because she said that a plane had struck the building and another was about to hit. "Get, your ass home" was how that conversation ended, "Okay ma," I assured her.

Eric and I started the evacuation process again but in reverse. I checked the 14th and then the 13th floor, and Eric contained the 12th. By the time I got back to the 12th floor, Eric and Walter were helping a few firefighters take their gear off, so I joined in. They took a brief five-minute break to drink water, we helped them put their heavy ass gear back on, and up they went.

Finally, it was time to leave. The stairwell was quiet by then, and when we got to the 7th floor, we found two old ladies struggling to go down the stairs. At that point, it wasn't in us to leave them, so we offered to help. "We'll walk with you," Walter said. The door from the stairwell to the main entrance felt like it would take hours to get to, and the closer we got to it felt more peaceful. I will never forget the moment we finally reached outside. My emotions were mixed, especially since a few Instinet employees were still hanging around. I said my goodbyes and started walking towards the Church. Eric and Walter followed, and after seconds of standing in front of the Church, it sounded like a bomb was dropping in one of those old war movies. I looked up and saw the building falling, so I yelled, "Run!"

We all started running away from the World Trade Center buildings. The morning just kept on getting harder and harder, but I knew I had to stay attached to both Walter and Eric. Walter was in his mid-60s, and Eric wasn't fleet of foot. They were out of breath when they stopped running, but we were safe. After we dusted ourselves off, we game-planned what we would do next. Eric suggested we go to his grandmother's apartment. Luckily she lived close by, because I had enough excitement for one day. Each step to Eric's grandmother's apartment, my legs got heavier. My nerves were finally catching up to me, the chain of events still unclear, and a sense of hopelessness started to hit the air.

Eric's knock on his grandmother's door was far from subtle, and the embracing exchange seemed like it gave him a sense of security. Even though I felt welcomed, I still didn't feel safe because I was still in the city. Walter stayed two hours before he left. That was the last time I saw Walter, but I know he made it home safe. Eric had no plans on leaving his grandmother's apartment, and I had to wait until I heard it was okay to attempt to get home. I lived in East New York at the time, so I had to walk over the bridge to get the train to get home. I got to the bridge at 4:10 PM. By then, my heart had been racing since 8:46 AM.